


Good Enough

by CharmedLuna



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Gang Violence, Gangs, Hurt, Mental Abuse, Physical Abuse, Romance, Verbal Abuse, Violence, second year boys, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:14:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25763494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharmedLuna/pseuds/CharmedLuna
Summary: Akari is introduced to the volleyball team.She isn't the likable type, but there is one person who has always seen her for who she really is.Daichi Sawamura frustrates her because he sees right through her.
Relationships: Daichi/ OC, Original Female Character - Relationship, Sawamura Daichi/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. happy birthday

**Author's Note:**

> title credit: 'good enough' by evanescence

“Boys, let’s gather around,” Mr. Takeda clapped his hands and it echoed in the gym number 3. The smell of boys sweating and icy hot filled Akari’s senses. 

The boys all turned in her direction, well, Mr. Takeda, but she was standing next to him. She saw how wide all of their eyes got. She saw some familiar faces. Particularly one.

“Uh---Jin-san will be joining us for a while,” Mr. Takeda smiled.

She was surprised he didn’t say exactly what it was. Punishment. She got caught ditching by the VP and it was only the beginning of her second year. She guessed he got tired of her getting detention.

“Please introduce yourselves,” Mr. Takeda told the boys.

One by one they started. First with the captain, a third year with really curly hair. Then the second years were the ones she recognized. Asahi, Suga and her friendly neighbor Daichi. Then the first years who just joined introduced themselves as well. Normally boys would be thrilled to have a girl, but Akari was not like their manager Kiyoko.

Kiyoko was beautiful because she was quiet and respectful. Akari was loud, crude and spoke her mind not caring whose feelings she hurt. She saw that not all of the boys were happy she was there. She could practically read their minds ‘anyone but her’.

But they welcomed her, nonetheless. Mr. Takeda told her to introduce herself. She sighed and took a step forward.

“Jin, Akari. Second year. Doesn’t want to be here,” she answered in a monotone voice.

Mr. Takeda chuckled nervously at her honesty. “Well, I’m gonna have Kiyoko here show you around.”

Akari’s phone began to ring in her track suit pocket. She reached for it because she knew who it was. She should be on the back of a motorcycle on their way to the arcade, but here she was instead. She ignored Mr. Takeda as he asked her kindly to put it away, but she answered.

“Hey,” she told Naoki—her boyfriend. Nineteen-year-old boyfriend. “I can’t hang out today. I got caught ditching and I gotta do my time,” she walked away from the group, but their eyes were following her, and they were all blatantly listening to her conversation.

“Am I supposed to believe that?” he scoffed.

She rolled her eyes. His insecurities were a turn off. “Believe it or not. I don’t care.” She wasn’t sure how much longer she could date him. He was too possessive and never believed her whereabouts. It was tiresome. She ended the call not wanting to deal with him yet. She put the phone back in her pocket and then went to Kiyoko. “So, what do I do?” her eyes moved to the court and the boys were still staring at her. “Don’t you guys have a ball to toss around?”

They quickly were reminded of her attitude and went back to practice. Kiyoko told her to refill the bottles of water. There was a fountain outside of the gym. Kiyoko handed her the basket with empty bottles of water.

Akari went to do as she was told. Why did she agree to help the boys’ volleyball team? She could have easily ditched. All she had to do was call her boyfriend, but she honestly wanted to get away from him. This seemed like a good excuse as well. It killed two birds with one stone. What she dreaded was going home. Her father was probably pissed she got in trouble with the second year just beginning.

But her heart was filled with something. Well, it more lacked something. Because today was her birthday and not a single person from when she woke up until now had wished her a happy birthday. When her mother was around, before she packed up her things and ‘find herself’ five years ago, her mom would throw her birthday parties. She would have all of her friends there. Life seemed…hopeful.

Akari filled the bottles of water and she took longer than it needed to take. She just didn’t want to go back to seeing their judging eyes. All they saw was the girl who was in a gang. And she wasn’t even really in the gang. Her boyfriend was and she was around him, so they thought she was in it. She didn’t correct them. Better they judge her for that than for being the girl her mother abandoned because she wasn’t loved enough. 

“Hey,” a soft voice spoke from behind her.

She turned around and saw the familiar eyes of one Sawamura, Daichi. Ex-childhood friend. This was the first time they’ve talked since she was eleven. They had become strangers, but she remembers a lot of embarrassing things he did to be complete strangers.

“Hi,” she replied. “You need something?” she went to the mode she knew best and that was sassy.

He seemed unfazed by her tone and merely smiled. “Well—I—I know what today is.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “A Tuesday?”

“Happy Birthday,” he smiled warmly.

“Uh…thanks,” she didn’t want to show she was surprised he remembered, so she turned back around to face away from him and finished filling the last bottle. She expected him to walk away, but he moved towards her and then he stood next to the fountain.

“You and your dad doing the usual?” he asked.

She pursed her lips. “Not that it’s any of your business but no,” she feigned a smile. “Why are you talking to me now? It’s been…years.”

“Not by my choice,” he pointed out.

Akari hated that he was right. She was the one who stopped talking to him. Pushed him away when he tried to console her when her mom left. He tried for a long time until he finally gave up. But he did give up and that showed her exactly what she felt all along since her mom packed up and left.

“Right. So…why care now?” she twisted the bottle close and placed it in the basket. “Gotta go now. Gotta serve my time.”

Before he could say anymore, she all but jogged back inside the gym where he probably wouldn’t approach her. He wouldn’t want people to think he was friends with a delinquent. Kiyoko gave her a few more tasks. She had to wash some jersey’s from yesterday and then hang them so they could dry out.

“Am I their housewife or something?” Akari asked bitterly.

“No, you’re being punished,” Kiyoko replied coldly.

Akari nodded her head. “Yes, that’s true. This is punishment.”

She had to wash the jerseys by hand since there was no washing machine. There was a large sink at the other side of the court. Her back was turned to the boys, so that helped her avoid the eyes of Daichi. She had not looked directly into his eyes in a long time.

They were still warm as chocolate. Still able to see right through her. She shivered at the thought of him seeing all of her. All of her flaws and doubts. He seemed to catch up so quickly. Why did he have to tell her happy birthday? Why was he so damn nice? 

Because even though they had not talked in five years, she still knew about him. They always ended up in the same classes every year. Akari might get in trouble but the reason she wasn’t expelled yet was because she was a great student. She might sleep in some classes—well, most of them—but she still aced her tests or quizzes. 

Once the jerseys were washed, she went outside to hang them. That’s when she heard the sound of the motorcycles.

She looked over her shoulder and saw the motorcycle of her boyfriend and his friends. The blue one was Naoki’s. He removed his helmet and his blue eyes found hers quickly. He narrowed his eyes and got off his bike and headed towards her. His friends removed their helmets but remained on their bikes.

Naoki grinned. “You weren’t lying. You are being punished.”

She faced him and rolled her eyes. “Why are you here?”

“Came to make sure you weren’t lying, and you weren’t with some other guy. Would’ve been messy,” he cracked his knuckles.

“Like you actually care,” she scoffed and returned to putting the jerseys back on the line.

Naoki came up behind her, pressed himself against her and she pulled away from him.

“I’m at school, you idiot,” she hissed, and her eyes went to the gym. The doors were wide open and if one of guys turned her way, they would see them.

Naoki narrowed his eyes. “You’ve never cared before,” he tilted his head towards the gym. “Who is in there who you care about, huh?”

“Don’t be stupid,” she said through gritted teeth. “The last thing I want is for this punishment to go on longer. I’m already going to be doing this for a month.”

“I do hate it when you’re vulgar,” he took her chin with his fingers, but she pushed him back. He laughed and his eyes sparkled. “I’ll be waiting for you at the entrance.”

“Don’t you have something else to do? We can hang out another time,” she finished putting the last jersey on the line.

“I’m a good boyfriend and I’m going to wait for you…and you better not be with someone,” he growled but then kissed her forehead and went back to his bike.

Akari took in a deep breath. Why did she expect her gangster boyfriend to remember her birthday? Not even a hint that he was probably going to remember. She looks up to the sky and releases a long sigh again. Was this going to be her life?

In this moment she realized, she didn’t want it. She didn’t want to be Naoki’s arm candy. His pet and toy. She wanted to belong to someone who actually cared about her.

“Are you okay?”

Akari turned her eyes to the gym entrance and there stood Daichi with genuine concern in his eyes. Once upon a time, she thought she was going to marry him. She told him. When they were nine, she told him that they were going to get married and have a lot of children. Nine-year old Daichi agreed.

But that was the past. That had been an illusion because not even her own mother could love her enough to stay, so why should anyone else?

She walks towards the gym and Daichi stood there waiting for her response. Normally she would be sarcastic, but she didn’t have the strength at the moment.

“Yes, I’m okay,” she walked past him to go back inside.

Kiyoko was very quiet. She only said words that needed to be said. Akari was thankful for that. She would have hated being with someone who wanted to chatter. At the end of the practice the captain gathered the guys around and told them what each individually needed to work on.

Kiyoko told her it was time to help the first year’s clean. They had to pick up all the balls, put the net back inside of the equipment room. The first years had two who were really wild. One was named Tanaka and the other Nishinoya. Apparently were both deeply in love with Kiyoko. But she liked their energy. But she could see the hesitation in them to talk to her.

“I thought you were too snobby to talk to us,” Tanaka laughed as he carried a pole. 

“Yeah! And…you’re also kind of scary,” Nishinoya chuckled. “But you’re all right,” he gave her a thumbs up. “And don’t worry, we think you’re hot too!”

She laughed and shook her head. “I guess that’s good to know. So, why volleyball? Isn’t soccer more popular?”

“What?” Nishinoya scoffed. “No way! Volleyball is way better!”

“Yeah but soccer players get paid more,” she pointed out.

“Have you ever played?” Tanaka asked.

She shook her head. “Sports are not my thing. I don’t like sweat.”

“Well, volleyball is all about connecting and brotherhood—or sisterhood,” Nishinoya grinned. “It’s the best sport in the world!”

She didn’t argue with them. She never understood club activities. She never joined any because she didn’t think it was good to waste time on something no one was probably going to pursue. What were the chances that all of them were going to be volleyball players? So why put in the effort? Statistically, most of them would work normal jobs and lives. Nothing special. No one was special.

When they were done, Akari went with Kiyoko to change at the girls’ changing room. When they were changing, she noticed Kiyoko’s legs. They were some scars on them, but she hid them with her tights. She wondered what she did to get those scars.

The school uniform had a knee length skirt, but Akari liked it a little higher. So she rolled it like usual and then waved Kiyoko goodbye.

“See you tomorrow, I guess,” Akari told her.

“Goodbye,” she answered nicely.

Daichi saw as she walked by him, Suga and Asahi. His eyes followed her as his friends talked about what they should eat even though they always ended up at the convenience store at the end of the block. He wondered why she looked so glum.

“Hello! Earth to Romeo!” a hand waved in front of his face.

Daichi blinked and turned to Suga. “What?”

Suga turned to where he had been looking. Akari wasn’t that far up ahead. They started to walk the same way towards the entrance of the school.

“Are you still in love with her?” Suga wiggled his eyebrows.

Daichi shook his head. “No, that was…a long time ago. I’m just worried about her. It’s her birthday.”

Asahi’s eyes widened. “I didn’t wish her a happy birthday. Oh no, what if she thinks I hate her?”

“I don’t think she thinks about any of us,” Suga chuckled. “Should we ask her to join us then?”

“Don’t tell her you know it’s her birthday,” Daichi smiled at the thought of spending time with Akari again. “She’ll say no if she thinks it’s out of pity.”

He lifted his hand and was about to shout her name, but then there was the loud sound of a motor revving. Their eyes went to the street across from them and there were some motorcycles parked there. Most of them had their helmets on, but there was one in the middle without it.

He was clearly older than them. Daichi watched as Akari approached them. His blood ran cold. He didn’t know she was associated with gangsters. The leader’s eyes held lust for her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her against him. She tried to get away from him, but he only tightened his hold.

Daichi took a step forward to help her, but Suga grabbed his arm.

“What do you think you’re doing? Don’t you see those tattoos on their necks?” his friend growled. “They’re not friendly bikers.”

Akari managed to get out of the man’s grip. But he handed her a helmet. She hesitated but grabbed it.

Daichi hated he had to watch as she got on the bike, wrap her arms around the man’s torso and watch them go.

“Wow, she’s hanging with some really bad people,” Asahi shuddered.

“Yeah, I mean she’s scary, but…that’s not good,” Suga released Daichi’s arm. “Look, I know you were childhood friends, but you’re not responsible for her, Daichi.”

The young brunette boy bit his lip. They didn’t know. He didn’t blame them for being protective. But he made a promise and he thought he had been keeping it, but it was clear that he had not. He planned to fix that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware that the old Coach Ukai came out of retirement in the second year for Daichi and the others, but I've planned not to add that to this. So just be aware it's not all canon. thank you for reading :)


	2. cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daichi brings over a cake. 
> 
> Akari is reluctant to let anyone in and goes back to her old ways.

Naoki dropped Akari off just before ten. Normally she wouldn’t come back until after midnight, but she didn’t feel like spending time with people who clearly didn’t care about her. It took some convincing, but her boyfriend dropped her off. The lights in her home were off letting her know her dad had not come home either. He was probably at the bar drinking the money away.

Her home was once filled with life and happiness. She had memories that seemed like from another lifetime. Memories of waking up to a breakfast being done. A warm hug and kiss from a loving mother. An attentive father with jokes that made her laugh. A best friend who happened to live next door. Life was perfect.

Akari placed her bag at the entrance. Removed her shoes and put on her house slippers. She flipped the lights on at the kitchen. It was a mess. The dishes had piled up even though she had just cleaned them two days ago. She sighed and pulled up her sleeves and began to clean. She could do her homework in the morning. She had done most of it at the arcade.

When she was done, she made herself something to eat. She also made a bowl for her dad and left it out for him. She went to her room and stretched. She began to undress, and her eyes went to the window to her right. It faced the window of her childhood best friend. Her curtain was open, but his was closed. She never worried about leaving the curtain open before.

But she talked to him today after so long and it felt weird. It was like talking to a stranger who knew all of her secrets. She walked up to her window and closed the curtains. She believed so heartedly that Daichi was going to be in her life forever. But she drove a wedge between them and before she knew it, she didn’t know how to break it. So, she just let it be.

She changed into her pajamas and then went to her bed. She reached in her nightstand and she pulled out her headphones and cassette player, but then she heard knocks at her front door. She wasn’t expecting anyone, so she reached for her metal baseball bat—a gift from Naoki.

Akari hurried to the entrance. She just wanted to listen to music and go to bed.

“OI-OI!” she pulled the door open quickly and then raised the bat over her head with both her hands. She made sure to have a crazy expression to ward off any fucker who thought could disturb her. But instead of a strange face it was a familiar one.

Sawamura, Daichi stood at her entrance with a cake in his hands. He was also in his pajamas, which was just pants and tank top. Her eyes wondered to his exposed arms. She remembered them being like sticks, but now they were full and toned. She focused her eyes on the cake. It was a homemade one. The frosting was store bought as well, but it spelled out her name.

“Sorry it’s so late,” Daichi smiled sheepishly. “But I just noticed someone was home and wanted to give you this.” He lifted the cake higher. His eyes went to the bat over her head and she saw relief in his eyes for a moment. “Good to know you take precautions.”

Akari lowered the bat and placed it beside the door. She moved to the side and gestured for him to come in. He blinked in surprise, but he came inside. He removed his shoes that he seemed to quickly put on and then put her dad’s slippers. She guided him to the kitchen and then took the cake from him.

“Tell your mom I said thank you,” she placed the cake on the table. A small smile appeared on her face. “She’s the only one who cares every year.”

“That’s my mom,” he half chuckled. His eyes wondered around. She didn’t ask him to stay but she wasn’t pushing him out the door either. Maybe she just didn’t want to be alone anymore. “So…that guy from school.”

“Yeah…?” she went to her cabinets and she took out two plates. “What about him?” She searched through her drawers until she found a spatula.

“He looks older,” he murmured.

Her eyes went to him. He sat down at his usual spot. The same place as before. She went back to the table and she could see that Daichi was checking her out. When his eyes went back to her face, his cheeks turned red and he looked away in embarrassment because he was caught. She grinned. 

“I think it’s best if you don’t ask about that,” she placed a plate in front of him and then took the seat across from him. She went to cut the cake, but he yelled out ‘stop’. She gave him a bewildered expression and then saw him pull out a candle from his pockets of his pants. He placed the single candle in the middle of the cake and then pulled out a small box of matches.

Akari watched as he tried to turn the match on. He did it after his third try and then lit the candle.

“Okay…make a wish,” he grinned and then turned to look at her.

Her eyes bore into his. She wondered why he was so good. And why did she have to be the one to suffer. Her mom left her. Her father ignored her existence. 

“C’mon, make a wish,” Daichi encouraged.

She sighed and then closed her eyes. What did she want?

She immediately knew and inhaled to release her breath only to be distracted by the slamming of a door.

“Oh sh-shit!” her father cursed as he crashed into something. “St-stupid door.”

Akari sank back into her seat without blowing out the candle.

For a moment, Daichi saw his old friend. He saw the spark in her eyes. He watched as she made herself seem smaller as her father stumbled into the kitchen. He watched Akari from the corner of his eye.

“Ah…young Sawamura,” Akari’s father grinned. “Why are you over so—oh! Cake! I love cake.”

“I’ll show you out,” she spoke to him and left no room for discussion. Daichi stood up and followed her back to the entrance as her father sat down, picked up a fork and started to eat the cake with the candle still burning.

His heart went out to her. He could see why she was so bitter to the world. He hated that he let it get this far. He thought giving her space was the right thing. Every time he tried to get close to her, it would bite him in the ass. He gave him after middle school. Now there was this big gap between them. He didn’t like it. He wanted to see her happy again. He knew she was capable of kindness. That façade of a bad girl was to hide the hurt little girl who was left by her mom.

She opened the front door for him, and he removed the slippers and put his shoes back on. Daichi was at a loss for words. Usually he was the one to motivate his friends. Lift them up. But when it came to Akari, he was always left speechless.

“Daichi,” she said his name for the first time in years and it made his heart race for some reason.

He was at the entrance of her door. She held the door and her eyes were cast to the side in embarrassment.

“Thank you for trying,” she mumbled and then slammed the door closed.

Daichi couldn’t help but smile. Yes, there was hope for her and he was going to help her.

**

Akari barely made it to class on time. She had to take care of her father after Daichi left. She had to drag her father to bed, remove his shoes and then she had to clean the mess he made when he came in. She went back to her room and she laid in her bed and finally listened to some music.

Last night was actually the better birthday she had in a long time.

To her right was Daichi, but his body was turned towards Sugawara.

Back to reality, she thought. She placed her arms on her desk and rested her head on them. The teacher walked in, but she didn’t put her head up. It sounded like a good time to take a nap. It wasn’t anything abnormal for her to be asleep in class. The teachers have given up on her. Her reputation to sleeping in class and yet somehow passing all the tests was very well known.

But someone nudged her. Someone from her right.

She pulled her head up and to her right and glared at Daichi. He gave her a smile. She went to put her head back down, but then he nudged her again.

“What is your problem, Sawamura?” she hissed and then went to put her head down again and he once again nudged her. She huffed and sat up with her arms crossed across her chest.

When lunch break came around, she started to pack her stuff, so she could go to the library and take a nap there since Daichi decided for her that she should pay attention. But someone blocked her way by none other than Sugawara.

“Hey…why don’t you join us for lunch?” he grinned.

“We’ve been in the same class for almost two years now and now you decide to talk to me?” she laughed humorlessly. 

He laughed lightly but there was no humor in his eyes either. “It’s not like you make it easy to approach you, Jin-san. You’ve always been very…independent. Plus, you’re part of the volleyball team now.”

Akari scoffed. “Please, as if I’d ever be part of a team who hasn’t even gone to Nationals in _years_. You think you guys are gonna make it? I’ve seen the people on your team, and you’d be lucky to win a practice match. That’s if a school ever bothered to play against someone as weak.” By the end of her hateful spew she felt a presence behind her that raised the hair on the back of her neck.

She gulped and slowly turned to see Mr. Takeda.

“Jin-san, you certainly like to speak your mind,” he had a smile on his face that was not friendly at all.

Akari had faced a lot of teachers over the years and she never cared or was scared of anyone until now.

“Though it seems you lack team spirit…maybe another month helping us out will get you to reconsider,” Mr. Takeda chuckled and left them.

She took in a deep breath, held it for five seconds and then released it. She turned her brown eyes to Sugawara, who chuckled nervously.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

She opened her mouth but was interrupted again.

“She got herself in trouble,” Daichi was suddenly behind Sugawara with an expression she knew well. His disappointed face. She hated it as a kid, and she hated it now. “We get we are not cool like those ‘friends’ you hang out with, but don’t put people down when you have no idea what they’ve been through. You should know that better than anyone.”

“It just irks you guys because I’m telling the truth,” she clicked her tongue and took a step forward and Sugawara took a step back so she could leave the classroom. Once in the hallway, she swayed her hips as she walked away. “You guys are the wingless crows after all,” she dove the knife deeper with that last remark.

“Remind me again why you wanted her to have lunch with us,” Asahi trembled from the sidelines. 

Daichi watched her walk away and he shook his head. “Last night I thought I saw the old her. But today it seemed she put her walls back up.”

“Again, why are you trying so hard, Daichi?” Suga rubbed the back of his head. “She’s always been so mean. She’s like a… wounded lion. Won’t let anyone near her. Maybe who you saw last night was just a sliver of who she used to be. She doesn’t want to change.”

Daichi refused to believe that. The girl he knew was kind. She protected animals. She admired the flowers. He understood she has had it rough, but he hoped that girl was still in there somewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the Kudos! I have many ideas for this story. It might even get a sequel and take it all the way to the third year. Maybe. 
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


	3. crazy

The clouds in Miyagi never changed. Even though she had never been anywhere else, she swears the clouds here are better. Akari laid on her back and stared up at the sky as she chewed on what she should do. She was supposed to be serving her ‘detention’ by helping out the volleyball team, but she did take her words a little too far earlier. She was aware the team didn’t like to be called ‘The Flightless Crows’. But she was bitter at the moment and as always, she took it too far. That was probably why she didn’t have any friends. Any real friends anyway.

She stretched her hand out in front of her and realized she needed to paint her nails again. But she had to stop by a store to buy some black nail polish since she finished her last one.

Maybe if she changed, she could have friends. She was told the way she dressed and the makeup she wore deterred possible friends away. Friends like Daichi had. Sugawara and Azuname were recent friends. She knew that, but they were so close like they had been friends for a long time. Probably because they played together, and she knew sports brought people closer. Not just fans, but as team mates as well. When people have a common goal, they get closer.

Back in middle school, she had gone to see Daichi play. Without him knowing, of course, she had wanted to make herself known, but she realized he was in a different world. He had moved on without her. Why did she expect him to wait for her?

Why did she think she was good enough for someone to stick around?

“Are you going or not?”

Akari turned to her right and she saw Daichi with his duffle bag, but still in his school uniform. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he was giving her a look that told her he was serious. He was also by himself. He walked closer to her and stopped when he was a few feet away.

“So?”

“You are really bossy. I don’t remember you being this bossy,” she groaned as she stood up and then stretched. She felt the breeze of the wind across her stomach. Her shirt must have ridden up and she saw Daichi blush and turn away making her smirk.

“You made a commitment. You should keep it,” he mumbled and glanced back to make sure she was decent again. “You don’t want to spend the rest of the year helping us, right?” he grinned.

“It’s only the second day and I’m already ditching, what do you think?” she walked past him. “See you in the gym, I guess since you found me.”

After changing in the girl’s locker room, she made her way towards the gym. She brought her other shoes with her and when she got to the cubicle just outside of the gym, she changed her shoes one more time. Inside the guys were already working on their drills.

The captain of the team was acting like a coach as always. Mr. Takeda was simply watching from the sidelines. Kiyoko scribbled away in her notebook. She approached the two with her head held high. Mr. Takeda noticed her first and forced a smile.

“Nice of you to join us, Jin-San, please do not make it a custom to be late,” he continued to smile, but she felt a small shiver down her spine.

“Yes, sir,” she bowed lightly.

“The bottles of water need to be refilled,” Kiyoko pointed to the basket.

Akari nodded her head. She didn’t have it in her to argue.

“Glad to have you back, Jin-chan!” Nishinoya waved at her with a grin. “You look beautiful as ever!”

She chuckled and waved back. “You can thank Daichi for that. My plan was to ditch.”

Refilling the bottles was easy. Her next job was to keep the volleyballs away from the court as the guys practiced their serves. Tanaka nearly hit her with one of his serves and he turned pale as a paper when he realized what he had done. She shook it off and continued to help.

At the end of it, she was sweating too, and she hated it.

She hated to sweat, and she hated sweat. It was gross. She definitely planned to shower as soon as she got home. But she could admit it was nice to see Daichi in action. His concentration face was cute. He would stick his tongue out and she especially liked to see him crouched to receive a ball.

She shook her head. She shouldn’t think like that. She had a boyfriend. Naoki was…inevitable. He claimed her and that was that. She didn’t have much of a choice there. If she had a choice, she wouldn’t be with him. But that was a problem for later. Once she graduated she didn’t plan to continue to be with him.

She was headed to the locker rooms when she recognized the familiar sound of motorcycles. She turned to her left and she saw her boyfriend and his friends.

She rolled her eyes. She put her phone on silent for this reason. She expected him to ignore her and go on about his day. Why was he suddenly so clingy? Instead of heading to the locker room she approached her boyfriend.

“You here for a reason?” she crossed her arms across her chest.

“You’re not answering your phone,” he shrugged.

“Because I was busy. You can go back, Naoki. I’m not going to the arcade today. I’m tired.”

“I’ll give you a ride home then,” he twisted his neck to turn to his friends. “Go ahead without me. I gotta make sure she gets home okay.” He turned back to her. “Go change.”

She rolled her eyes and then headed to the locker room. She despised it when he got like this. He watched her every move and always insisted on taking her home. She took her time changing. At the same time, the girls’ volleyball was changing as well.

“I think you two would make a good couple!” one female said.

“Yes! You’re both going to be captains next year! You and Sawamura would make such a cute couple!”

Akari stopped getting changed and then paid closer attention. The group was right behind her.

“Stop it! We are just friends.”

“Think about it. Don’t you want a boyfriend? And he’s so nice and…motivating.”

“Hmm, he is, but…we should focus on Nationals!”

A snicker left Akari’s lips. Unintentionally. She didn’t mean to let it out.

“You have something to say Jin?” the sarcasm in the tone made Akari turn to face the group. She recognized the group as second years. They were not in the same class as her and Daichi. They were on the class down from them.

“Nope,” she smiled. “You guys have a nice…goal.”

“You don’t think we will make it?” Michiyima frowned. Akari could see why she and Daichi would make a nice couple.

Akari shrugged. “I can’t see the future. Maybe a miracle will happen, and your teammates will get the motivation they need to actually…be good.”

“Kind of bold to say when you yourself have no motivation to even pay attention in class,” Aihara crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. 

“And yet I’m in college prep classes and you’re not,” Akari shot back casually. “I’m just saying it takes more than words to actually do something. I just don’t think you girls have the talent for Nationals.”

“You really are a bitter girl,” Aihara hissed. “Makes sense why your mother left.”

Then all Akari saw was red.

**

The clubroom was filled the second and first years cleaning up for the third years.

“Did you see how Jin-chan was looking at me?” Nishinoya wiggled his eyebrows at Daichi. “She and I are going to have the most beautiful babies.”

Daichi punched the libero’s arm lightly. “She has a boyfriend.”

“So? Once she realizes I’m the man for her, she’ll leave him in the dust!” Nishinoya declared with his hands on his hips.

“I think Sawamura has dibs my dude,” Tanaka grinned and placed his hand on Nishinoya’s shoulder. “Have you seen the way they look at each other when neither is looking? It’s intense.”

“I don’t stare,” Daichi growled and Tanaka chuckled nervously.

“Who said you were staring?” Suga laughed. “He merely said you were looking at her. Admit it, you like her.”

“We are just friends,” Daichi shook his head. “Again, she has a boyfriend. I’m all done. I’ll meet you guys outside.”

He wasn’t sure why he was so defensive about liking Akari. It had been a long time since he had feelings for her that way. He was sure he was over her that way. But talking to her again was bringing back up feelings he thought were gone. He couldn’t help it. Whenever it came to her, he would always drop everything. He was doing it again. He told himself that he wouldn’t chase after her since she made it so clear she didn’t want to be his friend anymore.

After middle school he had hoped to start new, but he saw her at the ceremony that first year. But again, he promised himself he wouldn’t chase after her. And he didn’t.

“Help!”

Daichi was walking past the girls’ locker room to get to his locker to change his shoes.

Michiyima was ran out of the locker room followed by Aihara and Sasaki. “HELP!”

“What’s wrong?”

“She went mad! She’s destroying the place!” Michiyima had tears running down her face.

“Who?”

“Jin-san!” Aihara said. “She’s breaking everything!”

Daichi didn’t even think and ran to the girl’s locker rooms. There was a group of them all gathered around the entrance. He should have hesitated to enter, but once he heard more sounds of stuff being broken, he went inside. He heard grunts.

“FUCK!” a loud voice boomed. 

“What the hell?” he mumbled as he saw that some lockers were dented as well.

Some benches were broken, and his eyes widened when he turned the corner to see an injured Akari. Her right hand was bleeding as her fingers looked like they were dislocated. She had her back against the lockers crouched down, and he stood frozen for a moment.

He thought about the little girl he befriended at four years old. Well, she befriended him. Her family had just moved in and his family had invited them over. Daichi had been shy because she was a girl, but she took his hands and told him they were going to be friends all of their lives. Her brown eyes were lit like stars a fire in them that had attracted him at such a young age.

Seeing her now broke his heart.

“Akari,” he spoke her name softly.

Her eyes snapped to meet his and he felt his heart ache at the pain in them. How stupid of him to think she was fine. How stupid of him to keep his distance. He thought that was the right thing. Just keep an eye on her from afar, but he could see what a mistake that was. He crouched down in front of her.

“Let’s go to the nurse’s office,” he murmured.

Someone else would be afraid to approach her because of the wild look in her eyes, but he saw when she softened. When she recognized him, her body released the tension it had been holding. He helped her up to her feet and her eyes wondered around. He saw that she was disgusted by what she saw.

He turned her head into his chest so he could shield her from herself. He felt something wet against his chest and he didn’t have to look down to see she was crying softly against him. She buried her face more into his chest and her knees buckled, but he caught her just in time.

He carried her out of the locker rooms, her head rested on his shoulder and by the time they were out. The crowd had grown, but this time there was someone he recognized.

He definitely stood out with his height and his clothing. His eyes glared holes at Daichi at the sight of them. He started to approach him, but Daichi was lucky Mr. Takeda dispersed the crowd. He sent everyone else away including Akari’s boyfriend. Mr. Takeda cleared the way for Daichi as he took her to the nurse’s office.

The nurse told her to place her on the bed and then kicked him out.

Suga and Asahi joined him outside.

“Is she okay?” Asahi asked his bottom lip trembled.

Daichi nodded his head. “Her hand was bleeding, but she’s okay.”

“Her hand was bleeding? Did someone hurt her?” Suga asked.

He shook his head. “No, she…broke a bench. Dented some lockers.”

Suga and Asahi had horrified expressions. They each tried to imagine short Akari breaking a bench and denting some lockers. It seemed almost impossible for someone to have such strength. The three of them sat outside of the office for about half an hour.

Mr. Takeda walked out of the nurses’ office and found Daichi. “She’s being taken to the hospital. Her knuckles and fingers are broken. Do you have her family’s contact? We can’t seem to reach the father or mother.”

Daichi stiffened. “Her mom is not in her life and her dad…is probably…I can probably find him and take him to the hospital.” He bowed respectfully. “Is she okay?”

Mr. Takeda smiled and nodded. “Yes. She will be okay. I’ll trust you to get her father to the hospital.” He went back into the office.

Daichi turned to his friends. “You guys can go home. Thank you for staying with me.”

“We are not letting you do this alone,” Suga slapped his shoulder harder than he normally does. Now, where do we look for her dad? Where does he work?”

Daichi scratched the back of his head and mumbled the words. “He’s probably at the bar down his house.”

Suga and Asahi’s eyes widened, but then only nodded.

“Okay, let’s go get him.”

**

Akari stared up at the tiles of the hospital. She took in a deep breath and released it hoping the throbbing pain in her right hand would subside. She was offered pain killers, but she refused them. She hated pills. Plus, it was a form of punishment for losing control again. She barely remembers what happened.

One moment she heard those words ‘Makes sense why your mother left’ and the next thing she knows she is Daichi’s arms. She had gone three years without an incident. Three years of being in control and it wasn’t like it was the first time she heard those words. Why did she break then? Why did her world go red like those times?

She didn’t want to go back to her psychiatrist. There was a reason she hated pills. Three years ago, she used to under five or six different pills to keep her emotions low. So low she felt nothing all of the time. She watched as life passed her by. It was one of the reasons she didn’t reach out to her friends and lost them all. No one knew about it. Her father didn’t want word getting out his daughter was crazy.

So, people thought she was unapproachable, but she just didn’t have the energy to feel anything. She stopped taking them when her psychiatrist deemed it okay for her to be off them. She had gotten this far without a burst of anger and now it was back.

A nurse walked into her room with a friendly smile.

“You have some friends who want to see you,” she smiled.

“Has my dad come yet?” Akari didn’t look away from the ceiling.

“Uhhh—”

Akari sighed dejectedly. “Of course not. I don’t have friends. They’re not here to see me.” She turned to her left side away turning away from the door. She winced at the pain, but she embraced the pain because it was better than feeling nothing.

“Can we come in?” Daichi’s voice sent a shiver down her spine.

“I’ll leave you guys for a bit. Just remember visiting hours end in an hour.”

“Ho-how are you feeling, Jin-san?” Asahi’s trembling voice surprised her.

She didn’t dare turn to face them. Not how she looked now.

“Uh, we’ll be outside,” Suga’s voice was especially a shock. “Glad to see you okay, Jin-san. Get better.”

The door closed and then she heard Daichi walk around to sit on the armchair next to her bed. The one she faced. He scooted the chair closer to her.

“I tried to get your dad to come—”

“No need to say anymore. I know he was probably too drunk to come, or his poker game was more important.”

“I didn’t know things were so bad between you two.”  
“We each dealt with my mother’s departure differently. He went drunk. I went crazy.”

“It’s not the first time it has happened?”

She turned to her back and groaned again at the agony that seemed to be all over her body as well. Her left hand wasn’t broken, but she did bruise it as well.

“I didn’t…hurt anyone, right?” she whispered softly. “Are the girls okay?” She had flashes of screaming girls running away from her.

“No. No one besides you. Have you been dealing with this all on your own?”

Normally she wouldn’t speak about this to anyone. She didn’t want to burden Daichi either. It wasn’t his problem. He didn’t need to know how much she had changed. She remained silent, but she could tell he wasn’t going to give up.

“Do you remember how I used to get into fights right after my mom left?”

“Kids were mean,” he recalled prying her off a few boys their age.

“Some of the families wanted to sue my dad because of what I did. He convinced them not to and he would get me help. I went to a psychiatrist that helped with my…anger issues.”

She turned her head to face him.

“Today has been my first outburst in years. Not sure what triggered it. Being alone on my birthday or that the day is getting closer of when she left.”

“How have you been dealing with it?”

She did not plan to tell him about the pills. But she did have an alternative answer. “I used to go to car junk yards with a bat and destroy them. I’d sneak in at night,” she chuckled because it was where she met Naoki. She almost forgot her boyfriend had been waiting for her. He understood why he wasn’t at the hospital with her. He didn’t like them. She would have to check her phone later.

Daichi chuckled. “That was a smart move. But also, illegal since you sneaked in.”

She shrugged. She didn’t want to tell him the car junk yard belonged to the Yakuza and after meeting Naoki she got special permission to go whenever she wanted.

“Never got caught,” she laughed, and he laughed with her. She laughed until the pain was too much and she threw her head back.

“Are they not giving you enough pain killers?” Daichi had stood up from the chair and was at her side at once.

“I’m. Fine,” she said through her teeth.

“Akari, you are not fine,” Daichi’s stern voice made her turn back to him. His eyes looked bloodshot, like he had been crying. Did he cry for her? It tugged a part of her she thought she had kept buried. “Let me help you through this. I’ll go with you to the junk yard. I’ll be there—”

“This isn’t your problem, Daichi.”

“Yes, it is!”

She held his gaze for several heartbeats to see if he meant it. Of course, he did. It was Daichi. He never said anything he didn’t mean.

She scoffed and turned away. “I’m not asking for help.”

He chuckled and sat back on the chair. “And I’m still going to.”


	4. friends

How does one person return to school when they’ve had a mental break down?

Akari wasn’t sure if she even wanted to go back to school, but she already missed four days and her father was sending her back. He didn’t want to be at home any longer. So she changed into her uniform and walked out of her home. What she didn’t expect to see was Daichi at her gate entrance. His back was turned to her, but she knew it was him.

She had not seen him since the hospital. He did come by to check on her, but she never opened the door. She hated he saw how vulnerable she had been. She wanted to keep her problems to herself because they were hers to deal with, but one moment with Daichi alone and she spilled most of her guts out. He always had that effect on her.

As if he sensed her, he turned around.

His warm smile towards her made her stop in her tracks. She held tightly to her school bag. No, she couldn’t be developing feelings for Daichi. Not again. But he made it so hard not to fall in love.

“Good morning,” he greeted her. “So, ready to go back?”

She averted her eyes. “How did you know I was going back?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t. I’ve been waiting every morning until the last possible minute to see if you were coming.”

There! That! She hated that about him. He was so considerate. He always did the right thing. He was a good person.

She wasn’t. Not anymore. She wasn’t that young little girl he knew. She was much harder now. But she couldn’t refuse what he was offering. Her world was so cold and freezing. She felt like she was frozen in time. Stuck in the same loop of anguish and anger. She didn’t want to be in there anymore. Whenever she was with Daichi however short amount of time, she felt warm. She felt like she was next to sun.

“I guess,” she cleared her throat and opened her gate and closed it behind her. They walked towards the school in silence. 

He shoved his hands in his pocket and he walked beside her.

“How’s your hand?” he asked about after five minutes of silence.

Akari lifted her right hand that was in a cast now. “It’s okay. Just sucks when there’s an itch. I didn’t know how itchy I would get.”

“You’ll be healed in no time,” he grinned. “You’ve always been a fast healer. Remember when we were learning to bike and you fell off the most times and you never cried once?”

Akari smiled at the memory. “And yet one little scrap and you’d run to your mom.” She laughed and Daichi laughed along with her.

“Yeah, but then she’d me a sweet to help with the pain,” he continued to laugh. “So, I still got something sweets.”

Akari stopped laughing and then licked her lips. “So, is the whole school gossiping about how I went crazy? The ‘goth girl showed her true colors.”

Daichi turned serious as well. “At first yes, but I made them change subject whenever I heard them. I reminded them that they shouldn’t make assumptions about people.”

She kept herself from grinning. That was so like him. She knew if she hadn’t been the one to have a mental break down, he would defend anyone who wasn’t able to defend themselves. He was good so good down to the bones. It had been a long time she was around people like him. But she doubted there were a lot of people out there like Daichi.

Years without talking and yet here they were like old friends. Even though they were old friends.

“If anyone gives you any trouble, let me know,” Daichi told her.

Akari chuckled. “You sure you don’t care about defending the ‘goth’ girl?”

“Goth?”

“Well, since I’m a hand short I can’t really do my nails and hair and makeup, but you know how I usually dress deters people from talking to me.”

Daichi frowned and then looked deep in thought. “I guess I never really noticed.”

“You’re joking,” she scoffed.

He shrugged. “I only cared if you were healthy.”

“So, you’re only talking to me now because you found out I’m crazy?” Akari stopped in front of the convenience store that was about two blocks away from their school which meant they weren’t far off.

“You know that’s not what happened.”

She sighed and started walking again. “I guess. I did make it hard to stay friends.”

“You guess? I literally would try to talk to you for years until I figured I was just bothering.”

“Not like you missed me or anything. You quickly made friends with Sugawara and Azumame and you guys act like you’ve known each other since childhood when it’s only been like a year.”

Daichi grinned devilishly. “Someone sounds jealous.”

Akari scoffed. “No way. I’m just saying I was easily replaced.”

“What about me? I feel as though I was really easy to push aside. Did you not care that I was trying? And now you have a nineteen-year-old boyfriend who is in a gang. How did that happen?”

She narrowed her eyes. “It’s not like you to judge people. He cares about me.”

“Then how come he hasn’t come to see you? I know for a fact he has not come by even when you were at the hospital. If I was your boyfriend, I would have stayed by your side the entire time.”

Neither of them expected those words to come out of his mouth. Daichi’s face turned red and he pursed his lips to keep himself from saying something else insane.

“I just mean…if he cared, it would show.”

They reached the entrance of the school and there were a lot of more people around them. But he only looked at her as though she was the only one that mattered. It gave Akari a weird feeling she wasn’t sure how to decipher. She tightened her hold on her bag as her eyes looked around to see that they had gathered a bit of attention. She could see them start to whisper to each other.

‘Why is he so nice to her?’ a girl whispered to her friend.

‘She’s a freak show.’

‘He must be doing charity work.’

“I made friends with outsiders like me, Daichi,” Akari concluded. “I’ve never fit into these group of people who just like to gossip and worry about who is cool or not. Naoki is the only friend I’ve had in a long time.”

“You have me again now. And Azumane and Sugawara who have also stepped up to defend you. Don’t act like you’re all alone. You’ve only helped out the volleyball team a few days and they consider you a part of the team. You’re just too blind to see that.”

He left her stunned. Did he mean that? No way it was true. She barely met the team a week ago. The people she got along were the first years. Mainly Tanaka and Nishinoya. Tanaka was a fake hard ass with his blonde hair, but he cared about the team.

During the first class, she sat in her usual seat. She heard the whispers and felt the stares, but all she could think about were Daichi’s words. Sugawara greeted her and asked how her hand was doing. She didn’t reply sarcastically and remained nice. Her eyes went to her childhood friend, who had a smile that reached his ears. It made her stomach do flips, so she turned her eyes away.

The teacher arrived and all of the students got into their seats.

After two classes of hardly paying attention, it was lunch time. She got up to go hang out at her usual spot, but Daichi grabbed her left wrist.

“Come eat with us,” he offered.

Sugawara grinned and nodded his head. “Yeah. Asahi is going to save a table for us.”

“Sure,” she agreed and followed them to the cafeteria. The three of them go in line to buy their food. Akari got a meat bun and an apple juice.

“Still love apple juice?” Daichi asked when he saw the drink in her hand.

Akari nodded her head. “Of course. Still better than orange juice.”

“I said that once! And I was like six. I didn’t know better,” he rolled his eyes and she laughed.

“I told you I would never forget and I haven’t,” she poked his side, but winced when she realized she had used her injured hand.

He dropped his smile and turned to her. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” his quick reaction made her laugh.

“I’m fine. I just forgot I was handicapped,” she bit down the pain, but it was subsiding by the second.

“How long are you going to have the cast for?” Sugawara asked when he joined them after paying for his own food.

“Hmm, six weeks according to the doctor.”

“That will be in no time.”

Azumane waved his hand to flag them down. They took seats. Daichi remained by her side and Azumane was on her right. He too asked how she was doing. She assured him she was doing fine.

“Anyway…thank you for helping out that day,” Akari told them. “My dad mentioned he was tracked down by some teenagers. And Daichi told me how you’ve defended me from gossipers.”

“Daichi? First name basis huh?” Sugawara wiggled his eyebrows.

Akari’s eyes shot open. “Oh…I’ve always called him that…so I guess…it’s weird to say anything else. Unless you mind?” she turned to the short hair brunette to her left.

There was a tint of color on his cheeks, but he shook his head. “Of course not. I also can’t seem to call you anything but your first name as well.”

Their eyes stayed connected for several seconds. Sugawara and Azumame looked at each other with knowing smiles. As if they knew something the other two seemed to stay oblivious to.

“So…anything new happen while I was gone?” she asked.

“Tanaka cut his hair to a buzz,” Azumane chuckled.

She raised an eyebrow. “Hmm, weird, but also so like him.”

“We had this practice game with another school,” Daichi explained, “and we lost,” he cleared his throat and Akari felt the air change around them. “Anyway, Tanaka overheard the other players call us weak and it was hardly a practice. He wanted to defend us, and we told him that we were used to hearing that.”

Akari chuckled dryly because she said that same thing not that long ago.

“Oh…”

“Well, he said he’s committed to the team no matter what and to prove it he cut his hair.”

“What you guys need is a real coach,” Akari took a bite of her meat bun. “Mr. Takeda is nice and all, but he has no clue about volleyball.”

“It’s not that easy,” Daichi scratched the back of his head. “There were rumors Coach Ukai was going to come out of retirement, but I’m not sure.”

“It could still happen,” Azumane pointed out nervously. “Don’t lose hope.”

Akari’s phone started to buzz in her bag. She reached for it and rolled her eyes when she saw it was her boyfriend. She excused herself from the table and answered the call because if she didn’t, she knew he would make a big deal about it.

“Wow, so you figure out you should finally call me once I’m back in school?” she answered coldly.

“Don’t be such a bitch, Akari. I had business to take care of. You don’t want to be involved in that so I left you alone.”

“You could at least send a fucking email or text,” she shot back. “I was injured, and you left me all alone.”

“Not like you to be so clingy.”

“What the fuck do you want then?” she hissed. “I’m having lunch with friends.”

“Let me guess with that childhood friend of yours,” the jealousy was clearly there. “I thought I told you I didn’t want you near him.”

“Not like you to be so clingy,” she shot his words back at him with the same energy. “I will do what I want, Naoki. We are over. You clearly don’t give a fuck about me and let’s just cut our losses now.”

“You are not breaking up with me.”

“Oh, I am. It’s long overdue. We don’t really have a lot in common besides sleeping together. I need time on my own.”

“So, you can screw that guy?” he growled. “If he touches you like I have, I will kill him, Akari and you know I don’t threaten unless I mean it.”

Akari felt a shiver down her spine. One that told her he really did mean it. But she really did want to be alone. She needed time to be her own person. One without the mommy issues. One without leaning on someone as a crutch. She wanted to stand on her own two feet. And she was positive she would never have feelings for Daichi in that way. She just felt cared for and that was why she had those feelings earlier.

“Nothing is going to happen. Daichi lives in a whole different world from me. He is actually a good person unlike us.”

“Of course. Who would want to date a goth chick when he has someone normal like those girls you scared half to death with your mental break down?”

Her eyes went to Daichi, whose back was turned to her, and he was laughing with his friends whole heartedly. Naoki spoke the words she was afraid to admit.

“Yeah, exactly, so don’t threaten his life for no fucking reason.”

“You’ll come back crawling,” he ended the call and she sighed a breath of relief.

One less thing to worry about.

She went back to the table with a wider smile.

“What’s so funny?” she asked as she took another bite of her meat bun.

“Just trying to figure out how Asahi would look like with long hair,” Sugawara chuckled. “He said he wants to grow it out to look more manly.”

“You might want to slow down,” she gestured to her chin. “I see those hairs growing and you might look older than all of us by next year.”

Azumame shivered. “Oh no!”

“But you’ll look really cool with long hair,” she grinned. “Like a samurai.”

“A samurai?” Azumane’s eyes sparkled with admiration.

“Oh no, you just convinced him to do it,” Daichi laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was stuck about what to do next, so it's why it took a while to write. But the 16th episode of season 4 came out and seeing the trio in their second year was very inspirational. iykyk


	5. photograph

A normal teenager isn’t something Akari would call herself, but these past few weeks it felt as though she had entered another dimension and was normal. Every morning and after volleyball practice Daichi and she would walk home together. The walks consisted of talking about what was going on in school or what they planned to do for practice.

There was a change in her life that made her believe that good things did happen. That it wasn’t all dark and cloudy. She didn’t see helping the boys volleyball team as punishment anymore. She saw them as friends now. Asahi—as he insisted to be called and Suga had welcomed her into their group. Even though her level of energy was more with Nishinoya and Tanaka.

Days turned into weeks and suddenly midterms were around the corner.

“Are you having trouble with any subjects?” she asked Daichi as they walked back home on Friday night. Midterms started Monday, so she had planned to use the weekend to study. She can’t remember the last time she properly studied instead of just reading the material the night before.

“Calculus is kicking my ass. You?”

“Japanese Literature,” she pouts sticking her bottom lip out. 

Akari didn’t notice how Daichi’s eyes had quickly been drawn to that quick little move. He turned away ashamed of his thoughts. He cleared his throat.

“You know that’s my best subject. I can…help you and you can help me with calculus.”

“What makes you think I’m good at calculus?” she raised an eyebrow.

He rolled his eyes. “We all know you scored the highest in class in the last test.”

She grinned proudly. “Yes, I did. Sounds good. Tomorrow afternoon? Your place?”

Daichi groaned. “You sure? My brothers and sisters will be home. It’ll be chaotic.”

Akari shrugged. “I don’t mind.” In truth, she preferred the loud noises that would come from the Suwamura house. She would wake up to the sounds of his siblings playing in the backyard. It was better to the deafening silence of her home.

A home that once had been just as chaotic as Daichi’s, but it was more like a cemetery. But she didn’t want to tell him that.

He just smiled and nodded his head. “I’ll tell my mom when we get home.”

They were a block away from their homes and the rest of the walk was in a comfortable silence. He walks her all the way to her door.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Around 12?” he asked his brown eyes held such a delicate emotion that made her heart skip a bit.

“Yeah, sounds like a plan,” she gives him the thumbs up. She somehow just realized it almost sounded like a date. She felt nauseous all of a sudden like she had gone through a drop in a roller coaster. She quickly goes inside of her home and tries to keep her heart from jumping out of her chest.

She takes off her shoes and puts on her house slippers. On her way to her room to put her school bag down, she saw her dad in the kitchen. He was sitting down with his fingers laced together on the table. He stared at a piece of paper in front of him.

He didn’t even notice she was in the same room.

“Dad? What is it?” she approached him and when she got near the table, he seemed to sense her and he snatched the paper from the table and crumbled it.

His eyes were red like he had been crying. He also didn’t look drunk.

“Are you okay?” she asked concerned about how jumpy. It was probably a phone number he had to call about someone he owed money to. When he’s nervous like that, he tended to do that. It didn’t surprise her, but he was normally drunk, and he didn’t reek of alcohol like usual.

“I’m fine. How was school?” he licked his lips and his right foot started to shake.

Akari sighed realized that she had been right. But it did surprise her he asked. “It was good. I’m going over next door with Daichi to study for the midterms.”

“That Sawamura boy has always looked out for you. I’m glad you’ve reconnected with him.”

It was scary to hear the sincerity in his tone and his eyes seemed to shift to a different time and place. She figured she should just leave him alone.

“I’m gonna go lie down for a bit,” she pointed to her room. “Then I’ll come back and get started on dinner.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he grinned and watched her as she left.

**

Akari wasn’t sure why she was nervous as she left her home. She got up early and she made some sweet treats to bring over to the Sawamura’s. Something that was easy to make since she still had her cast on. She wore her more casual clothes. Not her usual dark clothing she always wore. She stuck with a band shirt and jeans.

Her dad was gone by the time she had gotten up. She brought over some of her schoolbooks and notebooks. She headed next door. She opened the gate to his home and headed towards the front entrance. She could already hear the screaming of his siblings.

She knew of the first three since she had been there when Kazumi had been born. Right after that, her mother left. At beginning of summer. She had not officially met Azusa the youngest sibling of Daichi. Akari knocked on the door and waited. There was some commotion behind the door and soon Daichi opened the door for her.

His smile brightened her day already.

“Good morning,” she greeted.

“Morning,” he ran his hand through his short hair. His eyes went to her left hand that was holding the plate of sweets. “My brothers and sisters are going to devour those in seconds.”

“Well they’re meant to be eaten,” she chuckled. He took the plate from her and her bag filled with books. He gestured for her to go in. She went in and took off her shoes in the entrance.

“You can use these,” he pointed to some purple slippers.

“Ooh, I love purple,” she slipped her feet in.

“Uh…yeah…I may or may have not gone to the store and gotten them since we don’t usually have your size.”

Akari felt a tickle in her throat and her eyes burned a little. She pushed down the fluttering feeling in her stomach. Someone doing something nice for her. Someone thinking about her. It was unusual.

Daichi’s mom appeared with a toddler in her arms.

“Akari, welcome,” her beaming smile was something Daichi got from her. It felt just as warm and as inviting as she remembered. Following his mom, the three other children piled in. She remembered their names and she could hardly believe how much time it had been. “Kids, this is Akari. She is our neighbor and Daichi’s childhood friend. Akari, this one in my arms is Azusa. She’s three. Then we have Eiji who turns nine in November. Nariko, who turned seven February. And Kazumi turned five in April.”

“Thank you for having me,” Akari bowed her head.

“She brought sweets,” Daichi lifted the plate.

The children’s eyes lit up.

“I like you already,” Nariko grinned and she had a missing front tooth. “You may marry my brother.”

“Nari-chan,” Daichi used his warning tone and then he turned to Akari. “Sorry. She thinks you’re my girlfriend.”

Daichi’s mom laughed. “Thank you for the gift. We will have it as dessert after dinner.” She said pointedly to the children. Daichi handed the plate to his mom and then turned to Akari.

“We can go to my room,” he pointed upstairs.

She nodded her head and followed him through his home. In her memories, she had seen most of it. But it had been years since she stepped foot inside of it. The only changes were that there were more photos now. Along the hallway that led to his room, she remembered there were pictures of them as kids. She was surprised to see that they were still up there as well.

She paused to look at a particular one. Nine-year-old Daichi and Akari at the beach. She held a crab in her hand and Daichi had one as well. They smiled at the camera with grins from ear to ear. She remembered that day. It had been the hottest day of summer. She had loved every second she spent at the beach.

She wished she could tell her younger self to love her mom even more. Then maybe she would have stayed. But she wished she could tell herself that she should cherish those happy moments even more.

“Hey,” a gentle hand on her shoulder brought her back to the present. Daichi looked at the picture she had been staring at and a soft smile played on his lips. “You were the bravest person. You were never afraid of any living creature.”

“I was curious,” she told him. “Now, spiders are a big no-no.”

He laughed lightly. “That has always been the case. You would pretend to be brave for those, but I knew you were scared.”

“Let’s go study, you big goof,” she shoved him down the hallway to his bedroom.

“You calling me fat?” he feigns hurt.

“Yes. Stop eating those meant buns, you meat bun.”

His room had changed, of course, but it was still very much him. It was a simple room with posters of his favorite anime ‘One Piece’. His bed was on the left side of the room against the wall. He had a table in the middle of the room set with snacks and drinks.

He placed her bag next to the table. She closed the door behind her. She ignored the jitters and clapped her hands.

“I think we should start with Calculus. It can be very tedious to explain, and it’ll take the longest to get through,” she sat down on the floor and crossed her legs. She reached for the bag he had set down and felt that the best way for the feeling to go away was to just get through it.

Daichi sat across from her and nodded his head. He took out his notebook from his backpack.

“Now, just tell me what you’re not sure about. Or something you need get a better explanation of,” she also brought out her own notebook. “My notes are pretty straight forward.”

“You don’t even take notes in class. You’re usually with your head down,” he raised an eyebrow at her.

“I hate it the way the teacher explains it, so I just go through the material myself and take notes,” she shrugged.

“You make it sound like you’re a genius or something.”

Again, she shrugged. “I understand math better on my own. Got a problem? I’m here to help you.”

“I’m helping you too. Apparently Japanese Literature is a hard subject.”

Akari bit her inner cheek. She shouldn’t say anymore. Then maybe the day would be over quicker if she admitted she didn’t really have trouble with that subject. She just needed an excuse to spend some more time with him. Because whenever she was with him, she got a feeling she had missed. Happiness. Wholeness. There was no worry about her anger rising up. She was a normal girl spending time with a cute boy.

“Fine, fine. I won’t…make you feel stupid,” she grinned and winked at him.

Daichi felt his heart skip a beat after that wink. He really wasn’t having that much trouble with Calculus. He understood most of it, but right now, the way Akari was explaining it, she made it seem so easy. Easier than the teacher ever did.

He couldn’t decipher what he was feeling at the moment. Any boy would be nervous to have a girl over. At first, he didn’t try to let it get to him. She had a boyfriend. Sure, it had been a while since he had seen him around, but he was sure they were still together. Sometimes, she would break from the group at lunch because her boyfriend would call.

But he could tell they weren’t on good terms. She always came back a little sadder. Or angrier. He noticed she paid more attention to her duty of helping the team. She helped Kiyoko and Kiyoko was teaching her how to take notes now. He was on the verge to ask her to join as a second manager, but he was afraid the commitment might scare her. So, for now, he wouldn’t say a thing.

In the hallway, when he saw her look at their picture from the beach. He recalled that day that on the drive back home, she fell asleep with her head on his shoulder. He was tired too, but he wasn’t able to sleep because he wanted to make sure she slept well.

After spending an hour on Calculus, they decided to take a snack break.

He brought the Pocky and he was not surprised when that was the first thing she reached for. The chocolate ones being her favorite.

“So, you got plans after high school?” she wondered. “Maybe try volleyball as a pro?”

Daichi’s face turned red. “I don’t think I’m good enough to be a pro.”

“What?! Your receives are way better than that third year!” she pointed the pocky at him. “In that last practice game, he totally bombed, and you saved his ass several times.”

“We shouldn’t talk like that about your seniors.”

Akari rolled her eyes and then she rested on her back on the floor. She stretched and groaned. Daichi had a hard time not looking at her exposed skin of her stomach. He forced his eyes away and he reached for a drink to distract himself.

“What about you?” he asked as he sipped his drink. “With your grades, you could go to a good school.”

She sighed. “I’d rather get a full time job and save enough to move out. Leave Sendai. Go to Tokyo and just bum it out there.”

He frowned. “Are things with your dad that bad?”

“I’m just a burden to him. So, he can sell the house and use the money to gamble it away. I don’t care. I just don’t see myself staying here for the rest of my life. Boring.”

Daichi held back a flinch. He didn’t mind the city, but he found the countryside to be beautiful. He liked how the people were more caring. They watched out for each other. There was a more sense of community. He could see how she would think it was boring.

Akari has always been filled with fire. An energy he couldn’t match. She probably wanted to be with people who understood what she loved. Her music. Her American bands would play in Tokyo. They would never come to their side of town. With her wit and intelligence, she was capable of anything and everything. He suddenly felt so small next to her. Insignificant.

“You could do anything you want, Akari. You are smart and independent. What do you want to do?”

He watched her as her eyes stared at his ceiling. Her chest moved up and down slowly.

“Is it sad I don’t have…a passion?” she sat up suddenly and her eyes went to his window. “I mean…this is the time I’m supposed to figure out what I like. I just…don’t know.”

Daichi could hear the sadness in her voice. “What about photography? You used to like that.”

“Because I used to use my mom’s cameras. They’re still in the attic gathering dust.”

He forgot that her mom had been the photographer. He recalled that it was something Akari wanted to do as well. He understood why it was something she didn’t want to be near.

“I hope I’m not overstepping, but I don’t think you should let your mom have so much power over you.”

Her eyes quickly went to his at first with rage, but seconds later they settled. She moved her eyes down to the table.

“You sound like my therapist…but you’re right. Would you mind…coming with me to get them down? The boxes are probably pretty heavy.”

Daichi smiled. “Of course. Do you want to go now?”

She shook her head. “Let’s finish studying. I need more time.”

He nodded his head. “Got it. Well, you need help with Japanese Literature, right?” He took out the book for the class.

Akari pretended not to know what Daichi was talking about when it came to the story they were going over. About metaphors and analogies. But she knew it. She should win some sort of award for her performance. After another hour, they decided to stop. She asked if he needed more help with Calculus. He said he had a better understanding. He did ask to borrow her notes, so he could copy them since he liked the way she did them.

She laughed and let him borrow the book. She gathered her things and he walked her through his house again. She merely glance at the wall of pictures again.

Akari told Daichi she wanted to say goodbye to his mom. His mom was in the kitchen and the moment they walked down to the first floor; they were hit with the familiar smell of curry. Her stomach growled. She would love to have Daichi’s mom’s curry. It had been her favorite as a child.

“Mrs. Sawamura, thank you for having me,” Akari waved her hand.

Daichi’s mom closed the lid of the curry and frowned. “You’re not staying for dinner?”

“I don’t want to impose.”

“Nonsense! It’s been so long. Please stay.”

Akari grinned. “Thank you. I just have to take my stuff back and do something. I’ll be back for dinner.”

“Good,” she grinned back and her eyes went to her son. “You behaved like a gentleman?”

Akari and Daichi both tensed and Daichi groaned.

“Mom, we’re just friends. We just studied, that’s all.”

Akari held her breath until she was out of the house. “I forgot how tense your mom gets. She always did assume we would get together.”

“I think they would turn away anyone who wasn’t you,” he joked.

She laughed, but secretly liked it. “Thank you for doing this with me. I really haven’t given photography a thought all of these years.”

“You have every right to want to bury things. But doesn’t it feel good to confront things?”

She scoffed. “I’d rather much like smashing and breaking things.”

“I still can’t believe you were destroying cars. I can’t imagine tiny you doing that.”

“HEY! I’m pretty strong!” She used her left hand to punch his arm. After a month of using her left, it was a little stronger, so it did hurt Daichi when she hit him, but he pretended it did nothing. “If you ever want to do it, let me know. I still have the hook ups.”

Daichi dropped his smile. “Your boyfriend’s place, right?”

“Boyfriend? Naoki? I broke up with him like a month ago. But I can still get into the junkyard since I never gave him the key to open the lock,” she winked at Daichi. “Is someone relieved I’m single?”

“What? No…he was just too old for you.”

She rolled her eyes and shoved his shoulder. “Hardly.” They reached her place and they switched out their shoes and headed towards her attic.

Once in the hallway, there was a string that when pulled, the stairs for the attic came down. Daichi and Akari stood with the string between them. She remembered when her dad took the rest of her mother’s things upstairs. He wanted to burn them, but she convinced her dad to keep them. A young Akari was hopeful her mother would return.

“Ready?” he whispered.

Her left fingers sought out his right hand. She interlaced them and squeezed his hand. “Yeah.” He reached with his left. He was strong enough to bring down the stairs with a single hand. Once he fully brought it down, she felt her body began to tremble.

“I’ll go first. Make sure it’s safe,” he returned a squeeze, but then released her hand. Suddenly, for a moment she feared he would be hurt. What if there was an animal and it attacked him? She wouldn’t be able to forgive herself that he would get hurt because she was a scaredy cat.

“I can do it,” she told him and went to the stairs.

“No, you and your dad haven’t up there for years, I’m assuming, there could be an animal. I’ll do it,” he moved her to the side and went up the stairs. She followed closely behind him but was touched by his bravery.

He poked his headfirst.

“There should be another string to your right. Pull hard and it should be the light,” she told him.

After a CLICK, the light in the attic came on. He went up the rest of the way. She remained halfway until he gave her the okay. Once he did, she went up the rest of the way. It wasn’t a huge attic, but there were several boxes that made it seem even smaller.

There were surrounded by boxes. Daichi started to look through boxes. Her eyes went to the left corner of the room. She knew that was where they were. She walked over to them and she opened the nearest one. It was her mother’s clothing. The ones she didn’t take. Opening the box caused her mother’s old perfume that somehow still remained in her clothing to cloud her senses.

Normally, she would have buckled under her sadness, but Daichi’s words rang in her head. She shouldn’t let it rule her life. She could do this. She moved the box and the next one was exactly what she was looking for.

Akari’s mother had been a photographer. She always had her professional camera with her. Her mother told her that as a young girl she wanted to travel the world and see it through her lens. She taught Akari from a young age how to hold it. How to take pictures. The day that Akari’s mother left there was a note on her bed along with her mom’s old cameras.

Akari never read the note. She could never have the strength to read it. She put the cameras into the things her dad was going to put in the attic. That had been four years ago. She had buried the thought of the cameras because it caused her pain to bring them up. But she did have a love for it before. The way her mother had explained it, made it seem like poetry.

“You found them,” Daichi spoke over her shoulder.

“Yeah,” she cleared her throat and blinked away the tears. “These are the ones she left behind. She took her most precious one. The one she’s had since she was a teenager. She left these on my bed with a note.” She reached inside the box and moved some of the cameras and found the envelop. It was yellow now. She turned it and it had her name at the front.

“You never opened it,” he commented.

“Never wanted to. Don’t want to now either,” she placed the letter back and took out the polaroid she remembered using when she was young. “Let’s get this stuff out and leave.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally came up with the names for Daichi's brothers and sisters. It was revealed he had 4 younger siblings. Is the spoilers? lol sorry if it was. hope you enjoyed the chapter. thank you for reading.


	6. Dick

“Are you sure?” Akari was glad the sun was out and was able to hide her blush from the boy next to her. The one she walked to school with every day.

Daichi gave her his million-watt smile. “Of course. I’m not going to let you go to the doctor alone. Your cast is finally coming off. Just in time for the beach trip with the volleyball group.”

Yesterday, the captain of the team and Mr. Takeda wanted the team to do some training, but something different from the camp. Mr. Takeda’s brother had a house by the beach, and he said they could use for a weekend. 

She smiled at Daichi. “Thanks.” Her appointment was after school, so she told him.

Their mid-terms were here and Akari had done some light studying the night before. She felt confident she was going to do well. Somehow, she always did. 

She had not picked up the camera she brought down from the attic. She cleaned it and charged it, but she couldn’t bring herself to take pictures yet.

Her dad asked if she had gone up to the attic. She was honest with him. He didn’t really react to her telling him that she took her mother’s camera. He just nodded his head. She noticed he wasn’t drinking anymore. The past few days he was home early. He had gone to a few job interviews.

She had seen him leave the house around the same time she left. She didn’t dare ask if it was actually happening and why it was happening. She had her own things to worry about. Her ex-boyfriend wasn’t leaving her alone. He came by to her house at night. He would call and text non-stop.

Of course, no one else knew about it. She didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. She didn’t want to burden Daichi with it. Plus, she knew she could handle it. Her yakuza ex-boyfriend would have to wait. He wasn’t a threat…yet.

But she really was happy to finally get her cast off. Writing with her left hand had improved, but she hated doing it.

The young couple arrived at the school together. They were talking about the previous practice game with the school a town over and what they could have done earlier. At the entrance though there was someone waiting for them. Akari’s body stiffened when she recognized who it was.

Michimiya approached them with a red face. “Hi…uh---Jin-san, can I talk to Daichi-kun for a moment?”

Not even a blind person would be able to miss the awkward tension between the trio. Akari had yet to apologize to the girls she had terrorized with her mental breakdown. Her eyes shifted to the nearby tree and saw that Asahi and Suga were under it. Clearly watching them.

“Yeah, of course. See you in class, Daichi,” she shifted the strap of her bag and left them behind as she walked across the campus. Eyes were on her and she could see them whispering amongst themselves. Lately it seemed people like to poke their noses into her love life.

 _Nothing to see. Nothing is going on. He’s not my boyfriend and he isn’t hers. It’s nothing._ Akari told herself and she forced a smile as she greeted Asahi and Suga.

“Good morning guys! Ready for mid-terms?” she laughed humorlessly. She was using all of her strength not to see over her shoulder to find out what was going on. She didn’t care. It didn’t matter.

“I’ll probably fail math,” Asahi scratched the back of his head. “But I feel confident with English and Biology.”

“They are not getting closer,” Suga had his eyes over his shoulder. “But with her body language…I think she might finally confess her feelings.”

Akari’s hold on her strap tightened, but she laughed. “We should not snoop.”

Suga shifted his eyes to hers and smirked. “It doesn’t bother you?”

“Why should it bother me? It’s a free country. People can tell people how they feel about each other. But I know Daichi doesn’t feel the same way,” she nearly groaned when she finished talking. She literally just told Suga and Asahi that she cared.

“OHHH, and you know this…how?” Suga tilted his head to the side and then leaned down to be closer to her face. They were literally eye to eye, so she shoved his face away to give her space. “You don’t care if someone confesses to Daichi?”

“He’s single. Girls can do as they wish.”

“It doesn’t bother you at all?”

“No.” Her eyebrow unconsciously twitched.

“Not a bit?” Suga wiggled his eyebrows. He returned his attention to the couple at the entrance. “Well, let me just describe what is happening. Michimiya-chan is rubbing her left arm and has her head down. It seems like a serious conversation. Oh! She just placed her hand on his shoulder.”

“What?!” Akari jolted and nearly turned around, but she forced her body to stay still. “Wait…is it like this?” she placed her hand on Suga’s shoulder like when she greeted a guy friend. “Or is it like this?” she took a step closer to him and placed her hand closer to his neck, so her fingers grazed the base of his neck.

Sugar visibly shivered. “Oooh, that…feels weird,” he pushed her hand off him.

“Weird?” she scoffed and feigned a hurt expression. “You wound me.”

Suga chuckled but had a red face. “It was definitely something in between those two.”

Akari really wanted to look over her shoulder. She could do it. In half a second. But then Daichi would know that she cared when she didn’t care. Not one bit. Nope.

“No,” she remained strong and then threw her hands in the air. “Why would I care about Daichi’s love life?!” she shouted.

Suga straightened his back and his eyes went behind her. She knew exactly what was happening. Daichi was behind her and he had heard her outburst. Even if he had been where he had been, he would have heard her. She turned around to confirm to her horror what had happened.

Daichi was smiling, but she could tell it wasn’t of his honest ones. “You don’t need to be so loud about it, Akari-chan. Anyway…let’s go take those mid-terms.”

**

How was she supposed to concentrate on her exam? She felt bad about what happened with Daichi. But then she would scold herself about feeling bad. There was no chance for her and him. They were in two different worlds. Even though lately it seemed they had patched up things. Things had gone back to how they were. Of course, not as close, but it had been a big step from the five-year gap of no communication.

Akari’s eyes went over the same sentence over and over again.

Japanese Literature wasn’t something hard to do. She should be done with the exam already. But her thoughts were scattered, and it was hard to do anything. Her eyes went over to Daichi who seemed in deep thought about what he was doing.

She couldn’t blame Michimiya for confessing her love for him. Daichi was something else. At first glance some might think he was plain or average. But once he becomes your friend, he defends you fiercely. He pushes you to do your best. He believes in you like no one else and he doesn’t lie about it. He truly put his faith in people he believes in.

If she got a little shallow, she had seen him play and had seen the difference in him physically as well. During practice, she found her eyes wondering. When the guys were using the weights that they had, she had found herself looking just a little longer. She would admire his thighs whenever he received. How effortlessly he could squat and then when he would spike, she would get a tingling sensation in her chest.

Naoki had a good body too. He had been her first, but she had never felt this hot just thinking about him. Thinking about Daichi physically made her wet.

Oh no! She thought to herself. Her eyes went back down to her paper.

She liked Daichi. That was why it bothered her that Michimiya might have confessed her love. Probably told him that he was the best guy in the school. That he was an amazing listener. That being around him made her want to be the best person to be able to be his friend. To receive his advice. 

Someone kicked her foot from her left. She turned to Daichi and his eyebrows were furrowed. His eyes held concern and then they went down to her paper where she had not written a single thing. He raised his eyebrows as if to say, ‘Everything okay?’.

She nodded her head and then went back to the exam. No, she couldn’t like Daichi. As more than a friend? No. She just liked that he was in her life again. Exactly! She just liked that he was being nice to her. That he had gone to the hospital with her. He had just inserted himself back into her life without judging her. He didn’t see her differently. His eyes were the same as ever after he had seen her mental breakdown.

He had seen her at her worst and yet he was still her friend. Asahi and Suga were too. Of course, they hadn’t seen it in person, but they were her friends too.

Akari felt her chest lighten thinking like that. She wasn’t in love. She just…had like those hero syndrome things. She would get over it. With that, she was able to finish the exam.

**

After the exam, she gathered her things and her eyes glanced over to Daichi. He was also putting his stuff away.

“Are you still going with me to the doctor?” she was happy her voice didn’t crack.

Daichi turned to her with a lifted eyebrow. “If you want me to…?”

Akari’s face blanched. “Don’t feel forced to go.”

“I said I would go this morning.”

“It doesn’t sound like you want to go.”

“How should I sound like then?” he sighed.

Her eyes widened. She was well aware of that tone of his. He was mad. Probably because she embarrassed him in front of the school. She didn’t mean to. She had shouted the words before she could stop herself. 

“You shouldn’t sound like I’m making you go,” she scoffed and placed her strap across her chest. “Just forget it. I’ll ask Suga.” She spotted him on the other side of the room. She went to walk past Daichi, but her took her elbow and stopped her.

“I already agreed to go. I keep my word,” he basically whispered in her ear. When he talked, his breath had created goosebumps all across her body. It also went to the place between her legs. “Stop being stubborn and let’s go.”

He basically dragged her out of the classroom with everyone watching them. She caught Suga smirking at them as they left. Halfway down the hallway, she dug her heel into the floor.

“Okay! I’m not a child!” She took back her elbow. His back was to her and she walked close behind him.

Daichi released a deep breath and then he stopped and faced her. “I’m sorry. You just frustrate me when you try to push me away.”

“Push you away?” Maybe a part of her knew that.

“Don’t act naïve. Why the sudden cold shoulder? Is it because…you’re into Suga?”

Her mouth dropped. “Where did—how---Suga? No! I mean he’s not bad looking with his little mole and I just know he’s probably a little kinky in the sheets, but it’s not like that.”

“Oh? It’s not? Then why did you put…your hand on his shoulder? And flirted with him?”

“That wasn’t flirting.”

“It sure looked like it.”

“Wait…are you jealous?” she smirked at him with a devilish look. “Are you into me?” she teased but her heart was pounding to find out.

To her big surprise, he took a step towards her. She took a step back until her back hit a wall. Daichi’s hand came next to her head and he basically kabedon her like in the JDramas and animes. He brought down his face down close to hers.

“Jealous doesn’t begin to cover it,” he spoke calmly. This close she was able to recall how beautiful his brown eyes were. She always found them so warm and expressive. But in this moment, they were a dark chocolate and so heated with passion.

“Stop messing around,” she licked her lips that had suddenly gone dry. She pressed her back to her back hoping to melt into it so she could have some space.

He brought his face even closer until his lips were a breath away from hers. “You know I’m not messing around, Akari.”

Where had everyone suddenly gone to? When did the hallway become empty?

In a flash, Daichi was three feet away from her. He straightened his uniform and cleared his throat. “Let’s go tell Mr. Takeda we are going to get your cast removed.”

Akari blinked at the sudden cold breeze. Her mind had gone mush, but in an instant, she got it back. She glared at the back of Daichi who was casually walking away. Hands in his pockets like he hadn’t just done that. Her heart was hammering still, and she was sure her face gave away her embarrassment. Naoki had done that to her on numerous occasions and she had liked it, but it had never left her this frenzied before.

“Dick,” she muttered under her breath and followed Daichi.

After they got permission to miss practice and her detention, they headed to the hospital together. It was just a train ride over. She kept her distance and he didn’t bother her. He didn’t talk to her. She couldn’t believe he did that to her. Made her think he actually…ugh! She hated him.

She had taken out her earphones that was connected to her phone. She played her music…loudly so he would also get the memo she didn’t want to talk. But once on the train he remained close. She understood why. It was a packed train so he used his body as a shield so creepy men wouldn’t feel her up.

Even though she dressed differently, men didn’t care, and she would get the occasional hand on her ass. She would kick them in the balls, but it was nice to have someone protect her. 

Although it didn’t help to have Daichi so close again. Her back was against the sliding door. His chest covered her view so all she could see, and smell was him. She didn’t totally hate it. He smelled like…pine. But not in the overwhelming way. She found herself leaning towards him almost as if to rest her head on his chest.

Akari was in trouble. Her heart wouldn’t stop hammering inside of her chest. Daichi was…forbidden. Because deep down she felt she would never be good enough for him as well. And he would leave her. She didn’t want to pretend he would ever love her. How could she ever be truly loved? 

Not only did her mother leave. But her father has ignored her ever since. He could hardly look at her. She knew why. She was the spitting image of her mother.

With all of that baggage there was also her anger problems. Her mental health problems. Michimiya was the best person for Daichi. She was athletic. She clearly was liked by her classmates. She wasn’t broken as Akari was. She didn’t have the mommy and daddy issues.

“Akari,” the sound of her name made her look up and that was a mistake.

Time seemed to stop or slow down. She’s not sure. All she does know is that his eyes pulled in her into a safe space she has not known for years.

Yup, she was in love. Deeply, wholeheartedly in love with Daichi Sawamura.


	7. so sick

_I don’t love him. He’s just…Daichi._ Akari told herself as she and Daichi waited for the doctor to call her. _I’m just attaching feelings to someone who is caring, patient and honest._ She sat next to him, but she made sure to have an empty seat between them. He seemed to get the memo and didn’t try to get close to her. Of course he would give her space because he was considerate. He could tell what she was feeling without telling him and honestly…that scared her a bit.

Daichi was someone stable and she was the least stable person she knew. Akari played with her chipped black nails and she thought about what kind of person he should be with.

It had to be someone kind, like him. Someone who radiated warmth, like him. Someone who was reliant, like him. She was basically describing the opposite of herself.

“Jin, Akari,” her name was called out and she lifted her head and looked at the nurse holding her chart. “The doctor is ready for you.”

Akari stood up and Daichi did as well.

“Are you family?” the nurse asked stopping Daichi from following her.

“He’s here for supports,” Akari told the nurse. “I’m afraid of needles.”

The nurse gave her a skeptical look but sighed. She turned to Daichi. “Just sit in the corner then.”

The process wasn’t as bad, but once the cast was off, her arm was whitter than it was before. It also smelled just a little weird. It made her gag. She heard Daichi chuckle behind her. The doctor explained she should be careful and not to go punching lockers.

“What about faces?” she muttered as Daichi laughed again behind her. She looked over her shoulder and stuck out her tongue at him.

Daichi smirked in exchange and held an expression that said, ‘You’re in trouble and you will be punished for being a brat’. That was exactly what it said and Akari blushed madly and turned back around to face the doctor.

“Are you feeling feverish?” the doctor wondered.

“Uh…no…I’m fine. Is that all doctor?”

He tried to give her some pain medicine, but again she refused. She dealt with the pain for the past six weeks. She didn’t need it.

On the train back, Daichi wasn’t as close since it was a nearly empty one. He sat next to her this time not leaving an empty seat between them.

“Why do you refuse the pain pills?” he inquired with genuine curiosity.

“You know how I told you I was seeing a psychiatrist?” she mumbled lowly and she could see him nodding his head at the corner of her eye. “Well, he put me on several medications to help with the anger issues. The anxiety and depression. But it made me really…numb. I didn’t want to kill myself anymore, but I didn’t want anything anymore either.”

Silence filled the nearly empty train cart.

“Kill yourself?” the words left Daichi and Akari flinched.

She had not told him that part. “I never actually tried to do anything. The psychiatrist just figured out that I should be kept on suicide watch because some of the stuff we would talk about. But the pills made me feel nothing and that was worse than feeling everything else.”

“I’m…I---uh—”

Akari scoffed. “Don’t feel pity, Daichi. You didn’t know because I didn’t want you to know. Plus, that was three years ago and ever since I decided to get off the pills it’s been okay. It helped to go to the car junk yard.”

“What do you do now?” he shifted in his seat. “Since you’ve broken up with your boyfriend, I’m not sure if you’ve gone to the junk yard.”

She shrugged. “I don’t really…need it. I guess I’ve been focusing on school more and with the club activities…I haven’t needed it.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask…your detention is almost up. Technically after summer break…you’ll just have two weeks left…”

The question hung in the air. Truth was it was on her mind for a while now too. Akari had sworn that club activities were useless. Her reputation would be destroyed. She had built up one of being the outsider. The outcast and if she joined the volleyball team…would she be converting?

“You have all summer to think about it,” Daichi told her.

**

“You’re dead, Tanaka!” Akari screamed as she emerged from the water after the baldy tried to drown her after he stepped on some seaweed and he thought it was a shark. She breathed heavily as Tanaka whimpered and tried to run away from her, but she moved rather quickly even in the water.

The group had arrived at the beach house early in the afternoon and after eating a light lunch they decided to head to the beach. Akari wasn’t afraid to get into the water, but it seemed most of the guys were not swimmers. Tanaka being one of them, which did surprise her. Nishinoya, on the other hand, seemed to be a fish.

Akari caught up to Tanaka and the boy released a scream from the depths of his soul as she pushed her weight on top of his shoulders and he went under.

“Don’t kill him!” Daichi yelled from the other end. “And watch out for your hand!”

She laughed as Tanaka struggled, but she released him. He quickly came up for air and started to cough. She rolled her eyes as he got out of the water.

She went back to play with Nishinoya. Ennoshita was someone Akari didn’t interact a lot with, but she had to sit next to him on the way to the beach house. He seemed into the same music she was into. She told him straight out it was weird he knew what music she was listening to.

He reminded her not to judge a book by its cover.

After an hour of playing and swimming they decided to come out of the water.

Akari’s bikini clung to her body and her nipples hardened with being out of the water. She felt eyes on her, but she only wanted one pair of eyes on her. And he was completely not looking at her chest. She wasn’t blessed like Kiyoko, but she wasn’t completely flat either.

Naoki used to say she had a nice handful and used to dote on them. But she grabbed her towel from Suga and wrapped it around herself.

“For an emo girl, you sure like the beach,” Suga fixed his sunglasses and hoped the sun would have covered the redness on his face after seeing Akari half-naked.

“You are a jerk, Suga,” she sat between him and Daichi and took a piece of fruit from the fruit bowl. “You guys going in now? I’ll take care of the stuff.”

“You sure?” Daichi asked as he stood up.

Akari nearly choked on her piece of fruit when she saw him stretch. His muscles stretched and for some reason she was paying closer attention. But she did it out of the corner of her eye and she looked back down and just heard as he went to join the others.

She wiped her face with her towel and sniffled.

“You gonna tell him then?” Suga asked from beside her.

She turned to him and frowned. “I have nothing to say to Daichi.” She started to dry her hair as a way to hide her face and to get some time away from having to answer anything else.

“Oh come on, when we went to the arcade for my birthday, you wouldn’t leave his side and he wouldn’t leave yours. And I saw the jealous look on his face when you were about to ask me something—”

“He and I live in two different worlds!”

“Really? You’re on the volleyball team and he—”

“My detention is about to be over shortly after summer break,” she removed the towel and she wiped off the water the rest of her body. “I was never part of anything.”

Suga released a deep sigh and looked up. “You sure are a stubborn one. You really think you’re not part of the team? Then why are you here?”

Akari chewed on her bottom lip. She rubbed her arms. “You think…the guys…and Mr. Takeda want me on the team?”

“You wouldn’t have been invited if you they didn’t want you. The captain is always pleased how quick you are with filling the water. And how you keep Tanaka and Nishinoya in line. You know next year…it’s likely Daichi is going to be captain.”

Akari smiled to herself. “Yes. I can see that. Even now I think he feels responsible for all of us. So you’re telling me to take that stick out of my ass and just join formally?”

Suga chuckled. “I’d be stupid to tell you what to do, but that is a good suggestion, Akari,” he used her first name and that shocked her, so she turned to him with wide eyes and a grin, “you’re actually a good person. I’ll be honest and judged you before I met you.”

She laughed wholeheartedly. “I wanted to push people away. But this ‘detention’ reminded me that…I’m still a kid. I should enjoy school…and friends. Are we friends, then, Suga?”

He stifled a laugh, but then released a loud one. “Of course, we’re friends!” He slapped her back, rather hard.

She winced but then laughed and returned the slap on his back and she was sure she left her handprint on him. “Oh, how nice!”

**

The beach proved to be exhausting for almost everyone. The third years seemed to think it would be a good idea to go to a karaoke place.

This time Akari sat with Kiyoko. The younger girl was really talkative this time around. She and Akari went through the music book together.

“Wait…you know One Ok Rock?” she looked astounded at Kiyoko.

She nodded her head. “I like to listen to them when I used to…train.”

“Train?” Akari asked and then grinned. “I knew it. Those scars on your legs. You used to do some sport. Soccer?”

Kiyoko smiled softly and Akari could see why every single person fell for her. When she smiled, it was sincerely, and it meant more. “Close. Track. Mainly hurdles.”

Akari widened her eyes. “Oh! I know that sport. That shit looks tough. Uh…why did you stop?”

Kiyoko placed a piece of her hair behind her ear and moved closer. “I…I…fell pretty hard and recovery took a long time and by the time it came around for try outs…I just couldn’t do it.”

“Why? I’m sure you were good. Actually, it explains how you sometimes just jump into the gym and skip all of the steps. You are so good!” Akari praised genuinely and took Kiyoko’s hands with hers and made sure to have eye contact with her. “You should not be afraid. You are a great person. You took on being a manager for this team and you have done an amazing job. I’ve learned so much from you. It’s not just about getting water and cleaning jerseys it’s about being on a _team_.”

Kiyoko was taken back by the fire in Akari’s eyes. Something she had not seen all this time but was happy to see she was opening up and accepting things.

“Thank you for being so supportive,” Kiyoko squeezed her hands back.

“HEY! Who said you’re allowed to hold her hands?!” Tanaka pulled back Akari’s arms so the girls would stop holding hands.

“HEY! Hands off, Tanaka!” Daichi smacked the back of his head. “No touching the girls so roughly.”

“Jin-chan!” Suga said from the front of the room where the screen was and waved the microphone. “Your song is next!”

Akari stood up and flipped Tanaka. “You’re just scared I’m going to steal her away and I might if you keep you being an ass!” She stuck her tongue out and sauntered to the front. The song started just as she got the microphone from Suga.

_“I will break into your thoughts with what’s written on my heart. I will BREAK! BREAK!” her voice completely dropped and went into a deep guttural sound._

_I’m so sick infected with where I live let me live without this empty bless. Selfishness. I’m so sick. I’m so sick!”_

The guys knew that she was into rock music, but they didn’t expect her to divulge into it with karaoke. Most girls would sing something girly and make themselves look cute, but Akari looked like she was ready to break some knees.

So why was Daichi so amused by it? He watched her continue to sing the song without a care in the world. She seemed to have a decent voice. She sounded like a professional and her English was very good. His eyes didn’t move away from how carefree and happy she looked. He was glad she was having fun.

After karaoke they went out to eat at a restaurant a barbeque place on Akari’s insistence. Daichi made sure he was able to sit next to her. 

He had avoided her most of the day to give her some space. He understood that at the school before they gone to the hospital, he had gotten too close to her. Made her uncomfortable and that was the last thing she wanted to happen.

He also felt bad.

Bad for not pushing to stay friends with her. Then maybe he would have known how much pain she was still in. Finding out she had been put on meds to keep herself from killing herself? It had angered him to his core. Not because of anything she did, but because he wasn’t there for her.

He had seen her around the times she had been on the meds. But he just thought she had shut herself off because she was still being standoffish. In middle school, he had concentrated on volleyball in order to forget about her. In order to forget the pain of her shutting her door in front of his face every time he tried to visit.

So, it was good to see her with his friends now. He had a feeling she was going to join the team after the summer. He was going to make sure she had a good time, so she would want to continue to feel like she was good enough. Good enough to have friends. Good enough to have love. Good enough to live.

“You okay?” Akari nudged him.

He blinked and took a bite of his meat. “Hmm, yeah. You ever think about joining a band or something?”

“Yeah! Your voice was really…metal!” Asahi said from across them.

“Like you were summoning a demon,” Suga laughed from beside Daichi, to his left.

Akari grinned. “Thank you. I do like to practice doing screams. Very therapeutic, no?”

“That wasn’t a compliment,” Suga frowned at her as leaned forward to take a look at her.

She stuck out her tongue at him. “You’re a mean one, but to me it is a compliment. So suck a big toe.”

Daichi laughed between them. “You guys are so alike.”

“Are not!” they both said at the same time and then glared at each other.


	8. blackmailed

Once back at the beach house everyone took turns of using the restrooms to get ready for bed. Akari was next after Daichi, so she waited outside with her things in a little basket and her phone in the next. She scrolled through the long email Naoki sent her. He was apologizing for being a bad boyfriend. He understood that he missed her birthday and that he wasn’t there for her at the hospital. But he wanted to explain himself at least and if she would ‘please’ listen to him. 

She chewed on her bottom lip. She didn’t think she would ever see Naoki admit he was wrong and then ask for forgiveness. She replied that she was out of town for a few days, but she would call him once she got back.

The door opened in front of her and out walked a freshly showered Daichi. His hair was still wet, and the small ends stuck to his neck and there were still water droplets falling down his chest. She exhaled slowly as her eyes caressed his toned chest.

He had his towel in his hand and he brought it up to dry his hair. “It’s ready for you.”

“Thanks,” she muttered as she walked past him and immediately inhaled to get a smell of him. Fresh linen is what he smelled like and maybe some coconut. She closed the door behind her and closed her eyes to concentrate on her breathing. She never had that reaction by just looking at a guy.

Akari started by removing her makeup. Today she went lighter with it and just had mascara and eyeliner. She wiped it off and then went for a shower.

**

Kiyoko was extremely beautiful. Akari wasn’t the type to be insecure about her body. She had decent boobs but compared to Kiyoko it kind of made her insecure. But Kiyoko was so nice.

“You have a really nice voice,” the young girl complimented her as they set up the beds next to each other.

Akari grinned. “Thank you. It was funny to see the perplexed expressions of when I started to scream. Not sure if they even know the band is a Christian band.”

“It is?” Kiyoko giggled as she plopped down her pillow.

Akari stretched and nodded her head. “Sure is. They have good songs though. I listen to it often. You’re actually pretty cool, Kiyoko-chan.”

“Thank you, Jin-chan,” she sent a sparkling smile.

“You can call me Akari-chan…or Aka-chan,” Akari smiled nervously and placed a lock of her newly dried hair behind her ear and blushing cheeks.

“Aka-chan…cute,” Kiyoko grinned.

Akari held back a squeal of happiness. “I’ve never had…a girl-friend before. I’ve always been friends with boys even when I was younger. Girls have always been…vicious and I didn’t like that. It’s all about fitting in instead of just being yourself.”

Kiyoko nodded her head. “Most girls won’t be my friend because they think boys will only talk to them to get to me. I learned to keep my distance and be acquaintances instead of friends.”

“Shame on them,” Akari shook her head. “You can’t help it that you’re gorgeous.”

Kiyoko actually blushed and smiled. “Thank you. I—uh—I’m ashamed to admit I judged you when I first met you. But you’re actually…sweet.”

Akari laughed as she got underneath the covers. “I’m not your typical girl on purpose. I like things without hiding them. I dress how I like to dress. Some might think it’s for attention, but I like how I look like with my eyeliner and my piercings. I’ll never apologize for being me.”

“That’s admirable,” Kiyoko chuckled. “Are you going to be joining the club?”

“Hmm…maybe.”

“I hope you do.”

**

The second day the volleyball group went to the pier with the rides and food stands. Somehow it turned into how much Daichi and Nishinoya. The captain warned them not to overeat because they planned to go on some of the rides, but neither of them listened.

Akari was encouraging Nishinoya, but she knew that Daichi’s appetite was immense as well. She loved food, but her biggest weakness were candied apples. But she had yet to see a stand for it, but her sweet tooth needed to be curbed, so she got some cotton candy, chocolates and ice cream.

“You’re going to get cavities,” Suga told her as he devoured a turkey leg.

She shrugged. “It’ll be worth the pain. You gotta live a little,” she offered some of the cotton candy she hadn’t finished.

Suga lifted his turkey leg. “I’m not done. But save it for later,” he winked.

She laughed as she finished her ice cream. She turned to the team with a bright face. “So, what ride are we getting on first?”

“Bumper cars!” Tanaka declared with a fist.

Her eyes twinkled. “You bet your ass! Let’s go, Buzzcut!”

“Buzzcut?” Tanaka wondered and then he grinned. “Buzzcut! Sounds like Buzz Lightyear.”

“It’s really not,” she laughed, but then all but skipped to the bumper cars. They took up most of the cars since they were a large group. Kiyoko and the Captain sat it out though. Apparently, they thought it would mess with their meal.

Akari got into the purple car since it was her favorite color. They were told by the instructor how to drive it and then some rules that she didn’t care for. There was a count down and then a buzz sound and she pressed on the ‘gas’ pedal and she knew exactly who to go after.

She hit Daichi first as he tried to drive.

“HA!” She cheered as she pushed through him, but as she left the bloody scene of her first accident, she was hit from the side by Ennoshita. “Betrayal!”

“You went after our future captain,” he grinned only to be hit by Asahi.

It was a little harder than normal, so Ennoshita grunted and then Asahi freaked out.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” the wing spiker apologized severely.

Akari maneuvered her way out of that and then she found herself driving away from Daichi. He was hot on her trail, but she was able to get away by using Suga was a shield.

She laughed when she saw Suga’s face, but it was short lived when someone hit her from the front. She looked up to see Narita with a wicked grin. But when she glared at him, he gulped nervously.

“I’m sorry! N-N-Nishinoya dared me to!” he stuttered out nervously.

“AH! Snitches get stitches, man!” Nishinoya yelled from not that far.

Akari laughed menacingly as if she were a villain in an anime. “You have declared war, Noya!” She pointed to the libero.

**

“You really shouldn’t have eaten so much,” Daichi told Nishinoya as he threw up in the nearest trashcan.

Akari remained twenty feet apart. She hated the sound of vomit and if she smelled it, then she would gag and probably throw up herself. She did feel bad since she knew it was because of how hard she hit him at the bumper cars.

“Sorry, Noya,” she yelled. She shivered. “I literally can’t be near it,” she placed her hand over her mouth.

“I’m okay!” Nishinoya waved his hand as he continued to throw up.

“UGH, I’m sorry I can’t be anywhere near it,” Akari whimpered and moved even farther away.

“Hold up! I’ll go with you!” Suga followed her.

They got to the very end of the pier. The Ferris wheel not far from them.

“You really hate it then, huh?” Suga laughed as she breathed in the fresh air of the ocean. The sun was setting and being at the end of the pier made it look more magical. It reminded her of a rainbow with different colors reflecting on the water.

“Yes, you’ve guys figured out one of my weaknesses,” she smiled. “This is really a beautiful sunset.”

“You really are so different from what I expected,” Suga shook his head.

“Let me see…you thought I was a witch. That I did witchcraft and that I put spells on people.”

“Not to mention you’d hardly came to class and yet…you were top in class. There was that rumor…” he laughed humorlessly.

“Ah, the one where I was sleeping around with the teachers,” she laughed. “That one was so stupid. All people saw was someone who dressed differently and just decided she was different without giving her a chance. I wasn’t about to change who I was for people who wouldn’t bother to see beyond the makeup and piercings. Plus, it’s only a little bit of piercings on the ears. I actually wanna get my nose pierced. Might do it before the third year or something.”

“Well, I’m glad I got to know you, Jan-chan,” he gave her his thousand-watt smile. “Who would have guessed I would be friends with the emo chick?”

Akari laughed and then slapped Suga’s back just as hard as he had hit her yesterday at the beach. “And who would have guessed I would have ruined my reputation as a bad ass to join a volleyball team?”

Suga hissed in pain before her words registered, but when they did, he blinked and turned to her. “You serious?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t make me regret it. Now let’s go back to the others.”

“Don’t you wanna go on the Ferris wheel?” he pointed to it.

She winced and she looked up, she cranked her neck up to see how tall it is. “Okay…you may just have discovered my second weakness…heights. Not gonna go on it.”

**

“All right, next group,” the worker called.

“Nope,” Akari tried to go back, but Suga pushed her forward.

“No, you agreed, or I would tell Daichi you like him,” he told her.

“You’re blackmailing me! This is illegal,” she quivered from head to toe and it wasn’t because it was cold, and it was getting since the sun had set. She sat down and Suga took the seat next to her. The bar came down and locked them in. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” she started to breathe quickly as she watched the worker go back to the control panel and with a bored face, he just pressed a green button. The cart moved forward and it swayed. “FUCK!” she screamed and held tightly to the bar.

“Hey, hey, relax,” Suga rubbed her back gently.

Akari had already closed her eyes tightly the moment it had swayed. “No, no I can’t relax. This thing is dangerous, and it’ll break down and we’re going to die!”

Suga laughed again and shook his head. “Suga, no offense but fucking telling me to relax isn’t going to he—ahhh!” The cart moved again after another couple got it. That was the last couple, so the cart started to go higher.

“Okay, okay, you really do have a fear of heights. I just thought you were kinda kidding,” Suga seriously felt bad for making her get on.

Akari couldn’t help it, so she buried her face in Suga’s shoulder. “Sorry, sorry. I just…can’t…”

Suga was shocked to have someone so close to him. Let alone a female. He could honestly say he didn’t see Akari in a feminine way like he saw Kiyoko and other girls. Akari tended to act like a guy. He knew she was a girl, but it just never crossed his mind until now. He had never seen her so vulnerable.

After his initial shock, he placed his hand on her shoulder.

“It’ll be okay,” he said in a softer tone. He saw her body visibly relax. Her shoulders dropped. “But…if you just look, you’ll see how beautiful the view is,” he whispered to her.

“I’ll just look down and die,” she whimpered and shook her head.

“I promise it’ll be okay,” his other hand went underneath her chin and lifted her face. She still had her eyes shut tightly. “First, open your eyes…slowly if you want.”

She gulped, but then slowly opened her eyes. His breathing hitched at the sight of them. Had they always been so warm and like chocolate? She usually wore heavy eyeliner and she tended to never look anyone in the eyes, so seeing her so up close and personal made his heart…ache.

“Okay…now look…at the ocean. The sun is still setting so it’s beautiful,” he explained gently.

“No-nothing is going to happen?” her voice was almost like a child.

Suga found it adorable. Maybe he could see what Daichi saw. Oh…his best friend. This was his best friend’s girl. Even though Daichi wasn’t admitting either, Suga could tell those two were going to date eventually. He told himself he was going to help them because he had never seen Daichi worry over someone so much. More so than normal. He always noticed Daichi didn’t let her out of his sight during practices and during practice matches whenever he spiked the first person, he turned to now was Akari.

“Nothing bad is going to happen,” he promised.

She released a long breath and then turned towards the view in front of them. They were halfway up. It was the perfect view and he saw as her face lit up. She turned away from him her heat leaving his side.

“Whoa…” she licked her lips.

“See what you’re missing if you’re feeling scared?” he told her.

Akari chuckled and understood it was a metaphor. “Y-yeah, I ge-get it,” her body was still in shock, but she turned to Suga and smiled softly. “Thanks. One less fear to have…I guess.”

“My mom told me the same thing when I was kid,” he talked with a soft expression. “I was also afraid of heights, but she brought me up here and told me what I told you. Made me fearless in a way.”

“My mom was fearless as well. She didn’t let herself not know something stop her from doing it. There would be a lot of trip to the hospitals though,” Akari chuckled to herself remembering taking her mom because she got a nail through her thumb.

“Daichi said she left when you were eleven?” Suga asked.

She nodded her head. “A few days after my birthday she just didn’t come back home. Didn’t bother taking much with her. My dad was so devastated. He took all of her stuff and locked it in the attic. A few weeks ago, Daichi helped me go up there and get back the camera she would use all of the time. I wanted…to think I was okay to use it. You know…have a hobby, but my hands trembled every time I tried to pick it up. From anger or sadness…I’m not sure.”

“I am really sorry, Jan-chan.”

Akari leaned back on the cart. Talking to Suga was easier than to any psychiatrist she ever talked to. She did feel safe with him. Similar to with Daichi, but yet different. Her view of the ocean relaxed her and when the cart moved she did jolt her hand went to Suga’s for support, but she didn’t scream.

“I didn’t scream bloody murder,” she chuckled with a wide grin to boy next to her.

He had his face turned away like he was looking at something. She didn’t want to interrupt, so she went back to looking at the ocean. As long as she looked forward and she didn’t look down she could pretend it was okay. Her stomach was still in knots, but it wasn’t as bad.

Her hand remained on Suga and then the cart reached the top.

“Thanks for pushing me, Suga. I can’t believe I’ve been missing these kinds of views,” she giggled and faced him again. He was looking straight ahead now.

“No problem.”

The cart came down and finally it was time for them to get off. Suga got off first and held out his hand again to help her off. She accepted and her legs wobbled a bit for the first few steps, so she held on to Suga’s hand as they walked down the ram.

At the end there was Daichi and the others. For a split second his eyes went to their held hands. Akari for some reason quickly released Suga’s hand like it was hot coal. Her face burned and she finally realized what it might have looked like.

Daichi forced a smile on his face. The one Akari knew he only used when he was upset but he was trying to hold back.

“You guys ready for dinner?” he asked nonchalantly.

“WE ARE EATING BARBEQUE!” Noya jumped in the air. “ALL YOU CAN EAT!”

“Sure, let’s go,” Suga walked past Akari and went to Asahi’s side.

No one missed the sudden tension with the three of them. Akari opened her mouth to tell Daichi whatever he was thinking was wrong, but Daichi turned his back to her and started to follow the rest.

Kiyoko stayed behind for her. She gave Akari a sympathetic smile. “You should tell him what’s going on. When he found out you were up there…he freaked out because he knew you were scared of heights. Then he saw you two…and I’ve never seen him so sad.”

“Why is he upset? I’m a single girl…okay but it wasn’t even like that! Suga just blackmailed me to go on. And he just helped me relax and it was fun. Nothing more!” Akari explained.

“Then tell him,” Kiyoko nodded her head. “But let’s go eat.”

“I just wanna eat my feelings away,” she muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo I was definitely stuck for this story. But it's kinda coming together. Thank you for reading <3


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